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Chapter 2

 

      My work consists of two parts: the one presented here plus all that I have not written.  And it is precisely this second part that is the important one.

 

                                      Ludwig Wittgenstein

 

 

Jan. 30, 1969

          I think the weirdness started last night when I picked up the drunk Indian.  He took me by surprise so I reacted badly.  He said his name was Johnny Ross and that he was a Fox warrior and he let out a war hoop and I don’t know why, but I asked him if he was any relation to Betsy Ross.  He let out a blood curdling scream and began hurling insults at me and I tried to calm him down but he kept insulting me.

 

          These savages had left their country, and were endeavoring to gain the right bank of the Mississippi, where they hoped to find an asylum which had been promised them by the American Government.  It was then the middle of the winter, and the cold was unusually severe; the snow had frozen hard upon the ground, and the river was drifting huge masses of ice.

 

          He was pretty well crocked, but he was in a mood to fight and it looked like he could sober up if he wanted to.  He asked me,  What are you going to do if I give you just one dollar?”

          “What do you want me to do, call the Bureau of Indian Affairs for the rest?”

 

          The Indians had their families with them; and they brought in their train the wounded and the sick, with children newly born, and old men upon the verge of death.  They possessed neither tents nor wagons, but only their arms and some provisions.  I saw them embark to pass the mighty river, and never will that solemn spectacle fade from my remembrances.  No cry, no sob, was heard amongst the assembled crowd, all were silent.

 

          Then I said, sort of backing down,

          “I will have to call the police,  like I didn’t want to, trying to make it impersonal like.  I didn’t want to fight and I could see where he was at: he wanted to fight. 

 

          Their calamities were of ancient date, and they knew them to be irremediable.  The Indians had all stepped into the bark, which was to carry them across, but their dogs remained upon the bank.  As soon as these animals perceived that their masters were finally leaving the shore, they set up a dismal howl, and, plunging altogether into the icy waters of the Mississippi, swam after the boat.

 

 

          It really got crazy because I first picked him up at the Pow Wow bar and took him to the Old Homestead bar and then when we got into the Old Homestead ----- I’ve got to describe the 52 year old beatnik first because she... well, before I picked up the Indian, I got a call to Kibby’s bar.  When I got there, no one wanted a cab.  So I’m standing there looking around and all of a sudden a very drunk Mexican turns around on his stool and starts talking to me in half English and half Spanish.

          I can’t understand him so I say  No comprendo.”

          He asks,  You speak Spanish?”

          I answer,  , hablo un poco.”

          He starts jabbering away, and I don’t understand a word.  It sounds like another language.  He’s smashed anyway, so I turn around and go back to the cab.  I’m writing No Go on the waybill, when I hear a lady call out,  I’m coming.”

          She gets into the front seat and says,  Let’s get out of here, this isn’t my element- you speako Spanish?- ha ha- I’m better off with Beatniks in San Francisco.  Ya wanna take me over there?  Come on let’s go...  What’s a matter...  you don’t wanna go?”

 

          We do not wish to say, or even imply, that San Francisco is the wickedest and most immoral city in the world; that her men are all libertines and her women all fallen; that she has no noble sons and pure daughters.

 

          She’s wearing a man’s undershirt and it looks like she isn’t wearing a bra--- I can’t tell for sure, but usually you can see the strap coming through a white tee shirt -- and her breasts are sagging about where they should on a fifty-two year old woman.  She’s wearing blue jeans and her hair is straight and long.

          “Did you ever meet a fifty-two year old Beatnik?”

          She doesn’t expect an answer.  She continues talking to herself.  I break into her monologue to find out where we are going.  2202 Foothill, about 4 blocks from the bar.  We drive past the house where Jack London grew up.  It doesn’t even have a plaque on it.  Nothing.  Some poor family that isn’t even related to him lives there.  The meter doesn’t click past 50 cents.  As we drive towards her apartment, she mumbles a lot of sexy things and stretches voluptuously, cat-like.   We’re almost in front of her apartment and she begins another conversation with herself,    “I want it -- Who needs it? -- I do.”

 

          I hear from the most unexceptionable authority that the ladies in California are not in general very refined or delicate in their conversation, using gross expressions and indulging in broad remarks which would make modest women blush.

 

          I tell myself, there is no way I’m going to ball her. 

 

          But we would say to the parents of San Francisco to look closer to their daughters, for they know not the many dangers to which they are exposed -- know their associates, guard their virtue-- and to mildly counsel their sons, for when upon the streets of the gay city they are wandering amid many temptations.

 

          We are sitting in front of her place.  She opens her purse and picks through it slowly, looking for coins.  She finds a few dimes and nickels and leans towards me and presses thirty cents into my hand, holding it a little too long.  Then she leans back to search for more money, but gives a sort of quick, sidelong glance at my crotch, and falls on my leg, and with her head resting on my thigh, stares at my fly.

 

          Every man thought every woman in that day a beauty.  Even I have had men come forty miles over the mountains, just to look at me, and I never was called a handsome woman, in my best days, even by my most ardent admirers.

 

          Obviously I’m still thinking   -- no way.  But physiology is asserting itself.  A few seconds pass.  She kisses my leg and then rises, slowly.  She starts a new tack:  “I’ve just blown a joint and I’m really out of my head.”

          “Not likely,  I think.  She’s seems to be thinking of something to say or do.  Suddenly, again, she falls onto my leg, and rests her ear on my thigh.  I don’t respond and she gets up a little quicker and begins counting her money again.

          I ask,  You have enough?”

          “Yeah there’s enough.”

          Then she looks at the door.  She wants me to get out and open the door and then she can invite me up to her apartment.  A lot of them use that one.

          “How do I get out of here?”

          As if they haven’t got out of cabs before.  I reach over to get the door, and I pause at her cunt, giving her a sort of thrill, then I open the door, saying,  “Don’t burn me with that cigarette,”  as if that was the reason for the pause.  Then I say,  “Thank you,” loudly, sort of conveying my proper tone, as if to say:  “let’s stay on this business level, etc. and keep away from those thoughts,” and she gets out but she suddenly changes her mind.  She says that she wants …. (The Jan 30, 1969 entry ends here.)

 

 

 

Chapter 3

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