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Chapter 11

 

 

           Truly there is a madness that men dread and another that they love, for to dance, laugh, love, and sing is a happy madness, but to sit mumbling and whining with one’s face to the wall, or to rage with a drawn sword calling oneself Medea is, according to human opinion, a dreadful fate.

 

      Dialogues in Limbo.  George Santayana

 

 

          We spent the rest of the week driving around in Florence’s new, yellow Volvo, walking the streets of Oakland and Berkeley, and making love in the car, in various parks, and in four different beds (when Tilly and Mary were at work.)  The next Saturday though, I had to go to work because I was running low on cash and the end of the month was coming up. But there was a Black Panther Conference on Poverty that I had planned to attend.   

          I was really surprised when Florence declined my invitation.  She said that she had planned to go shopping and when I asked her why she couldn’t put it off until later, she said that she would rather not talk about it.  I decided that she must have had a bad experience with them and let it drop. 

          I knew that Kidd wouldn’t go.  He was pro Vietnam, but like Thomas Eagleton, unfit because he had fallen into the clutches of the Capitalist Whore, American Psychiatry.  Pinson refused but wouldn’t give a reason.  Turnbull grew apoplectic at the name, “Black Panthers,” and Van Decken too, more or less hated everything that they stood for.  So I went alone.

          There were only a few black faces in the very sparse crowd even though the meeting was held in a large hall on 7th street in the heart of the Oakland Ghetto, and admission was free.  There was a panel of Black Panthers up on a kind of makeshift stage facing the audience.  I recognized one of the panel members.  He was a guy that I played basketball with at Oakland High School.  He had been part of the Panther bodyguard at Oakland City College in 1963 and 1964 when the Panthers were Separatist. 

          The Panthers had occasionally carried around loaded rifles in the halls of Oakland City College in those days and even though they professed to be a political group and not a terrorist organization, I was afraid of them. 

          A few years later, after he had attained world recognition, I had an opportunity to talk to Newton.  I stood fifteen feet from him.  He was talking with a black man that I knew.  But I saw a black Ahab with bloodlust for the white whale-monster-man, the white killer-shark-man, the destroyer of the Indians and Mexicans and the gentle African race.  I saw a maniacal bloodlust dripping from his eyes and from fifteen feet he looked inhuman and I thought I could see Oakland police officer Tippet’s blood on his hands.  I told myself that I didn’t want to talk to him but in truth, I was incapable of talking to him.  Later, I knew that I had never been more terrified of a human being in my life. 

          But those were revolutionary times and Newton had the hurricane of history at his back, as I did too, but his sails were full and mine were tied to their mast.  My terror was a kind of vertigo in the face of power in motion.  I had no right to judge but like all of us, at all times and in all circumstances I judged anyway, and I named my awe terror.  But now he was in prison, Cleaver had fled the country, and Bobby Seale was in charge.

          A middle aged, hairy, graying, Berkeley-professor-type was standing on the stage, having an argument with a kid in the audience who looked like he was about 20.  They were yelling at each other, and just about the time I got myself seated, a Panther shut the kid up saying,  “You wouldn’t recognize a worker if he came up and peed on your leg.”  I started to laugh, but stopped myself because the middle class audience was taking it completely seriously. 

          Another Panther grabbed the microphone and started talking about “Pussy Power.”  He said,  Power grows out of the lips of the pussy,” and to a group of women in the front row,  “If you’re laying with the problem then you’re part of the problem.”

          It was obvious to me that they were mostly just having fun but the audience was deadly serious.  Some people were even taking notes.  But most of the women looked uneasy.  I noticed a very pretty woman who was smiling but the rest looked nervous, or angry. 

          The lecture went on for about 5 minutes and, I thought, got funnier.  A guy in the front row, who looked like a young Groucho Marx, with dark, kinky hair standing straight out at the sides, was holding a microphone out like a large cigar, and, watching the crowd, raised his eyebrows up and down with every Panther outrage and exaggeration. 

          The Professor got up again and started droning on about the classes uniting and a young woman, who looked like an escapee from suburbia disguised in work clothes, interrupted, complaining that she wasn’t getting a chance to speak, as had been promised.  A middle class black man, wearing a tie, under a very expensive looking black leather jacket, told her, in a ridiculous imitation of a ghetto accent, “Shut-the-fuck-up pig.”

          He accused her of being an agent, and said, with far too much pleasure, (and I thought with a little embarrassment from the other Panthers on the stage,)  If you don’t know how to act then we’re gonna have to put you in your place.”  Then he indulged himself with a lot of phony and embarrassing  nigger-talk, until a very big and frankly fat Panther, in the only BROWN leather jacket on stage, a jacket that looked like a small condom stretched over a fifth of Jack Daniel’s, told him to shut up and sit down.  His eyes got very big, like a little kid who is scared and trying not to cry, and he sat down. 

          When the Professor started talking again, the group of women stopped listening and began to talk among themselves.  Suddenly, very dramatically, they got up in unison, about twenty of them, and walked out with their noses in the air.  The Professor droned on and the Panthers smirked and tried to look like they didn’t care. 

          One quite fat and large woman, who looked like a dike, remained behind.  It seemed to me that the reason she didn’t leave with the rest of them was that she had her eye on the fat Panther in the brown leather jacket.    

          Out of nowhere, a middle-aged Mexican who was obviously drunk, started yelling that not enough Mexicans were on the panel like they said there would be.  Actually, I didn’t see any Mexicans on the stage.  Someone yelled to him,  Talk to Bobby Seale about it.”   The Mexican said that he  couldn’t find the motherfucker.”  He was so drunk that I was surprised when he managed to hoist himself onto the stage.  He was mumbling, mostly to himself, but I heard him say again, very distinctly,  I can’t find the motherfucker.”

          A very tiny black man in a black leather jacket that was quite a bit too large for him, got very angry and said in a very loud, deep voice that could be heard all over the auditorium, “who you callin a muhh fuck uh?”   The entire panel got out of their chairs and started shoving the Mexican around the stage, slapping him and telling him to stop calling Bobby Seale a motherfucker.  The guy could hardly stand up anyway and he kept falling down and getting up again, saying over and over,  I know that, but I can’t find the motherfucker.”

          I couldn’t tell if he fell off the stage or someone pushed him but he landed in the front row and took out about five or six chairs.  He seemed to be all right and he weaved through the chairs towards the back of the hall and went out the door muttering to himself,  But I can’t FIND the motherfucker.”  I don’t think he ever figured out why they were yelling at him. 

          I didn’t want to leave in the middle of that incident because I didn’t want it to seem that I was leaving in protest.  But I decided that I had better leave and go to work because I needed the money.  I managed to slip out during the commotion so that no one noticed me.

 

          Right out of the barn, I got an old woman from West Oakland who went out to Berkeley, almost to University Avenue.  On the way, I got a radio call to 4412 6th street.  When I got there, I parked my cab in a driveway that led to a very large dirt lot with a chopped 54 Chevy truck parked near the house.  A rifle was hanging on a gun rack in the back window of the truck. 

          The dispatcher said the people were in the house and I would just have to wait for them to come down.  He said another cab had left but I should wait because they really were in there.  So I banged on the door and waited.  Someone yelled down to me and said they would be right down.  So I waited on the porch.  I heard some bastard yelling and honking his horn and gunning his motor.  It sounded like it was coming from across the street.  I banged on the door again.  The same voice yelled again,  Just a minute.”  I heard the honking and the engine whining and the yelling.  I started to look to see where it was coming from, when a wild-eyed man opened the door.

          “Nobody ordered a cab.”

          “Fine.  The dispatcher told me someone in there wants a cab.”  I was really just talking to myself, asking myself why these things happen to me.

          “I told you.  No one wants a cab.”

          Suddenly it became clear to me that he was holding someone in there against his or her will.

          “Great.  It doesn’t matter to me one way or other.  I’m just trying to do my job.”

          “Yeah, well do it some fucking-where-else.”

          I tipped my hat.  “My pleasure.”

          I walked towards my cab, cursing to myself.  To my right a horn blasted and the engine of the 54 Chevy truck roared.  The noise I had heard had echoed off the large wall across the street but it was coming from my side of the street.  A man yelled,  Get that fucking piece of yellow shit out of my driveway.”

          “What in the fuck do you think I’m doing?”  I stared at him malevolently.  I was still pissed off at the guy in the house.  A leer came across his face.  He got out of his truck slowly.  “What did you say?”  He was about 6’4” and 250 pounds.

          “I said, I was moving my cab.”

          No response.  I stood there looking at the bastard. 

          He said,  I can’t believe I heard you right.”

          I continued walking towards the cab, opened the door and stood with one foot on the ground and one foot in the cab.  “Hey look.  I didn’t know you were there.  When I saw you I came over to move the cab.  What the fuck more do you want?”

          He walked to within ten feet of me and stopped.  He said,  Maybe I ought to teach you a lesson.”

          “Look, I don’t need to learn any lessons.  I didn’t see you.  When I saw you I walked to my cab to move it.”

          “Yeah, I really do.  I think you need a lesson.”

          I looked up to the third story of the white wood frame house behind him.  A man about sixty, who looked exactly like Wallace Beery, peered out of the window.  He had a three day, white, Beery-stubble.  He smiled at me menacingly. 

          I said,  I think you’re really arguing with someone else.  I don’t have anything to do with it.  I was moving my cab.  I really don’t see what the problem is.”  I got into the cab. 

          He said, very softly,  I was sitting in that truck honking the horn for five minutes and you want to know what the goddammed-fucking-problem is?”

          “I told you I didn’t know where it was coming from...  The noise must have been echoing off that wall across the street.  I’m just trying to do my job.  I’ve been driving for more than a year and I haven’t had any problems yet.  I’m telling you I didn’t know that I was blocking your truck.”

          “I think you did know.”  He walked over the front door of the cab, which was still open. 

          I said,  Look, you think fighting someone who weighs a hundred pounds more than me is going to teach me a lesson?  A lot of cab drivers carry guns.  Maybe I ought to get one.”

          I looked at my radio.  Out of habit, I was going to call the dispatcher for the NOGO.  I looked back at him and his face had a look of horror on it and he was backing up. 

          “You’re trying to pull a gun on me?”

          “No! ....  I said maybe I ought to BUY a gun.  If I can’t reason with people.  They all tell me I should buy one but I didn’t think it was necessary.”

          I tried to make it clear that I didn’t have a gun.  I looked at the shotgun hanging in the back window of his truck and then back at him.  Just behind his head, Wallace Beery, who was framed in the window, raised a 45 automatic up to his nose, and looked at me significantly.  Then he looked over the top of the cab and slowly lowered it.  The big guy looked over the cab too.  I hoped beyond reason that it was the cops.  I turned around.  A Yellow Cab was stopped in the middle of the street, about thirty feet behind me.  The driver held up the microphone of his radio and motioned that he would call the police if I wanted him to.  I gambled that just the threat was enough.

          “No man.  No problem,  I said out loud so the big guy could hear me, and waived him on.   The driver looked surprised but drove on.  The guy just stood there.  I said,  Look, I’m sorry but I really didn’t know it was you.  It was stupid.  The sound must have reflected off the building.  I thought it was coming from across the street.”

          He was grateful that I hadn’t called the cops.  It was enough.  Now he just had to save face.

          “All right, but just don’t let it happen again.”  He said it like a man who had just flicked a spider off his sleeve with his finger.  I didn’t say anything.  He turned and walked back to his truck.  I drove off and meditated on Providence for awhile and the thought came to me that if God talks to man, then he must sound something like that but I didn’t have time to think much more because I had a succession of four or five harmless but obnoxious drunks that took me on a wandering path back to Oakland. 

          I thought about deadheading to the airport but then I got a nice old lady who was a retired elementary school teacher.  We had a civilized conversation and she invited me up for tea.  I almost accepted but I hadn’t made much money and I couldn’t spare the time. 

          After dropping her off, I noticed Juanita sitting at a bus stop and I picked her up and ended up taking her to dinner at the Doggy Diner on 40th street.  She offered to pay for my onion dog, but not very strenuously.  She always offered herself for free, if discretely, because as she put it,  A cab driver would be good to know.” 

          She looked quite fetching but when she gave me a smile that revealed her rotten teeth, I just felt sorry for her again.  She called me Goody Two Shoes after I pretended, again, that I didn’t know what she wanted to do.  I left her standing on the street, telling her not to do anything I wouldn’t do.  She didn’t laugh.

          “I wouldn’t do nothin if that was the case.”

          “Hey, you do too much already.”  I was sorry I said it after watching the expression on her face change.

          It was almost dark and I called the dispatcher pretending that I was at the stand near the airport, hoping that no one was already checked in there.

          “188, get 1643 108 avenue.”

          “Hey, that’s in San Leandro, isn’t it?”

          “We DO service San Leandro, 188.”

          It was about twenty minutes and ten miles away, but very close to the airport.

          “Roger.”

          “Get there real quick, 188.”

          I was convinced that the dispatcher could judge my real distance to any stand, to within a couple of miles anyway, simply by the tone of my voice.

          It was a quiet residential neighborhood.  I parked too far from the address and had to walk up the hill.  I heard a commotion.  When I got to the house, a man about sixty, with white hair, was lying on his back and a man of about thirty was sitting on him, bashing the older man’s head onto the cement driveway. 

          I ran up to them and pried the young man off.  A woman with chestnut hair and white skin was standing in the doorway, in her housecoat.  They started to go at it again and I pushed the young guy away.  It wasn’t difficult: they were both drunk.  I held them apart with outstretched arms.  The young guy had obviously made his point and had the best of all possible worlds: he had demonstrated to the white-haired man that he would have killed him if I had let him and yet he wasn’t actually obliged to carry out the act. 

          After a few minutes of glaring at each other, while the woman pleaded with them to go home, the young guy gave in, went to his car and drove away.  Then the older guy got into his car and drove off.

          “I don’t know how I can thank you,  she said. 

          “You have real helpful neighbors,  I said, looking at the deserted street.  I asked,  Who called the cab?”

          “I don’t know.  I didn’t.”

          I looked appreciatively at her legs.  She said,  I don’t know how to thank you.”

          I asked,   “Who were they?”

          She looked ashamed.  “He’s my ex-husband.  The older man is his father.”

          “I thought the young guy was going to kill the older guy.  I can’t believe it was his father.”

          “I’m so glad you came.  I don’t know what I would have done.  It happened so fast.  Can I invite you in for a drink?”

          “I make it a rule not to drink when I’m driving.”

          She looked at me without saying anything.  Then she said again,  I wish there was some way to thank you.”

          She was about thirty five, and pretty.  I thought of Florence.

          “I guess one beer wouldn’t hurt.”

          A little boy peeked out from the hall.  She said, gruffly,  Go to bed.”  He ran back to his bedroom. In a soft voice, she told me to sit down while she got the drinks.  When she returned from the kitchen, her housecoat hung more loosely about her body and I could see magnificent thighs outlined against the blue material of her night gown.

          “What were they arguing about?”

          “My ex accused his father of sleeping with me.”

          I didn’t say anything.

          “Just because he lives here with me.”

          She was sitting next to me on the couch and I looked at her lap and was surprised to see the dark triangle through her nightgown.  I thought that she looked like a woman who wouldn’t resist a stiff prick very long and I didn’t believe her story about the old man.

          “He said I was hiding his father here but he was just staying here until he could find something else.”

          She looked down and let her arms drop and I thought she looked guilty and that she was feeling bad because she had seduced the old man.  One of her breasts became visible and the nipple slipped over the edge of her nightgown.  She raised her head slowly and looked into my eyes.  I looked at her breast and thought,  I’ll bet the old man was a real goat.”  I looked back into her eyes. 

          She was waiting for me to make a move.  I thought, “I’ll have to pay for not accepting her offer, one way or another,” and took a swig of beer.  She gave a disappointed grimace that turned into a smirk and when I lowered the can and turned towards her again she was straightening her housecoat. 

          She emptied her glass, got up, and went back to the kitchen.  I took another swig of beer.  She didn’t come back.  I was ready to get up and leave without waiting for her to return but after almost a minute, she came out of the kitchen and said, “I really can’t thank you enough.  He could have killed Jack.”

          “Don’t worry about it.”  I got up. 

          I said, “You’d better make sure the old man doesn’t come back.”  She didn’t say anything.  I moved towards the door.  “Well, I shouldn’t finish this beer anyway.  I almost broke my rule.  Thanks anyway.”

          I drove to the airport and it was completely dead.  Turnbull was the only cab ahead of me and we sat together for over an hour waiting for a plane to land.  We agreed to have a beer after work.  When a flight finally came in, I got a fare all the way back to North Berkeley for about nine dollars.  That brought me up to 34 dollars and I had a chance of having a pretty good night.  The telephone company orders were going out over the radio and I checked into a stand in downtown Oakland from North Berkeley.

          “All right 188, you be number 3.”

          “Number 3,  I echoed.”  I was on Shattuck avenue at about Dwight way and decided to hit the Grove Shafter freeway at 51st street.  It was about a minute and a half before the hour and I could be a minute or two late and get away with it. 

          Once on the freeway, I accelerated to about 85 miles an hour, and then, with the 27th street off ramp in sight I eased off the accelerator and coasted down the off ramp towards the intersection doing about 60, seeing that I would make the green light at the intersection with no problem.

          “188, where are you?”

             “I’m sitting in front of the building.”

            “Well, you’d better sit on your horn because I’m getting another call.  They say there aren’t any more cabs left.”

          “I’ll go into the building and get them.”

          I replaced the microphone on its hook just before entering the intersection.  A car ran the red light and passed in front of me.  I just barely heard and felt a tick where my right bumper grazed his rear bumper.  My rear license plate flew off, screaming into the night sky like a lopsided, living Frisbee.  He was already past me when my foot lifted from the floorboard to hit the brakes.  I couldn’t even remember the color of the car.  I braked from sixty down to about twenty. 

          “Jesus H. Christ on a crutch.”

          I drove the rest of the way to the telephone company at twenty miles an hour wondering where the license plate had landed.  It looked like it had flown up towards an old apartment building and I wondered if I should go back there and see if it had caused any damage.  I was worried that it might have entered an open window and injured someone.

          “188, the Telephone company is calling again.”

          “I’m sitting right in front of the goddammed building man!  Tell them to put on their bleeping glasses.”

          I pulled up to the building just as another cab was pulling away with a load of telephone operators.  I got out and went into the building but it was empty.  I drove over to stand 105, in front of the St. Mark Hotel and parked, but didn’t check in. 

          I went into the hotel and headed for the bathroom, walking towards a drunk who was about 40.  He was talking to the night clerk and a pretty blond girl, about 9, was hugging his back.  He turned around and pushing her away said,  Get away from me.  I thought I told you I’ve had enough.”

          Her face was flushed.  She looked hurt, but also looked as if she didn’t really believe him.

          “Get away from me.  Go over there and sit on the couch.”

          He pointed to four couches facing each other in a square in the lobby of the hotel.  I walked past him.  He said,  Wait just a minute.  I called a cab.”

          “OK.”  I knew there were no cabs in the area.  They were all at the airport or talking telephone operators home so I might as well take him.

          He took my arm and pulled me over to a dark corner, put his face close to mine, and whispered,  Do you see that girl?

          I moved back from the smell of alcohol.  The hotel clerk pretended not to notice us.            “Yeah, what about her.”

          She was sitting on the couch.  She looked away from us, demurely.  She was wearing a summer dress that showed her chunky thighs pressed against the couch.

          “I can’t get rid of her man.  You don’t know what it’s like.”

          I thought that she might be his daughter and felt sorry for her.

          “Who is she?”

          “She’s my niece.  I baby-sit her.  But she’s too much.  All night last night, and now tonight, again.  I can’t take it.”  He looked desperate.  “I can’t keep her off of me man.  Do you know what I mean?”

          I looked at her and saw a very pretty preadolescent girl staring back at us.  Her eyes caught me looking at her legs.  It was late.  I thought I would probably miss Turnbull anyway and that I should just leave and go back to the barn.

          He said,  You’ve got to take her off my hands.”

          I didn’t know what to say. 

          He said,  I’m too drunk to drive.  You’ve got to drive her to my sister’s house for me.”

          “Why don’t you call your sister and have her pick her up?”

          “She ain’t home man.  Anyway she don’t have no car.”  He pulled his wallet out and gave me five dollars.

          “I want you to take her home.  She lives in Alameda.  Do you know where Doolittle Drive is?”

          “Do I know where Doolittle Drive is!  Sure.”  I thought, “airport.”  There was one last, late, flight.  He stumbled over to her and said something to her and she got up.  Suddenly it was obvious that she had been drinking also.  From across the lobby she gave me a lascivious leer.  They walked across the lobby to where I was waiting. 

          He said,  3212 Doolittle Drive, apartment E.  Oh well, she knows where she lives.  You don’t need no address.”  He laughed and then he threw his arms up again, looked at her one last time, turned his back and disappeared into the elevator.  He didn’t look back. 

          She got in the front seat of the cab.  I could see that she was very pretty.  She noticed my appreciation and accepted it as if she were used to it.  We started down Webster street towards the Alameda tunnel.  The cab moved slowly with the timed stop lights.  I looked at her knees and our eyes met.  She looked away at the door to her right, and asked,  Does this door lock?”

          She turned her torso and stretched her left arm over her body, pretending to try to lock it.  Her dress rose up high onto her thighs. 

          I said,  Yeah, if you want to.”

          She turned around quickly and looked up at me with a lascivious smile.  It was obvious that she had misinterpreted what I said.  I suddenly understood what her uncle was trying to say.  I remembered Juanita’s daughter. 

          We entered the tunnel.  I looked at her again.   She stared back, boldly.  She made a circle with her mouth and licked the inside of her lips with a sweeping motion of her tongue.  I pretended that I hadn’t noticed.  Out of sheer curiosity I looked at her again, this time with a flicker of encouragement.  She pulled her dress up quickly.  She wasn’t wearing panties.

          I said,  You shouldn’t do that.”

          She lowered her dress.

          I said,  It’s all right.  I guess you’ve been drinking.”

          She was silent.

          “Haven’t you.”

          “Yes.”

          She looked like she was about nine years old.  I felt ashamed of myself.  We drove in tense silence and when we got to her darkened house, I didn’t wait to see if she had got in the door safely.

          Two and a half beers into the pitcher I said to Turnbull,  A nine year old tried to seduce me tonight.”

          He stared at me. 

          “I’m not kidding.  She...  it was incredible.”

          He said dryly,  Let me tell you about it.”  He looked at me warily, sizing me up and reading my face to see what I was ready to hear.  As a form of charity, I suppose, he usually assumed that I lied as much as he did. 

          I call it “charity,” because Turnbull thought that no self-respecting soul, that is, no self-respecting soul that was only a cab driver, could allow itself to actually live and experience life except through literature and fantasy.  If my adventures were true, and they were always just barely and exasperatingly believable, because nothing truly outlandish ever happened to me, then I was an inferior soul who contented itself with a B-movie life.  If, on the other hand, what I said was fantasy, well then I simply had an inferior imagination and he could live with that. 

          I said,  I wish you would.”

          “Well, first, tell me what happened to you.”

          I related most of it, giving in to a little fantasy at the end, as my form of charity towards him.

          He said,  A little bitch like that can be incredibly seductive.  As I started to say, when I was a kid, I got my first piece of ass before I entered puberty.  We were both ten at the time.  We were together for three years until her old man finally got transferred to Georgia or some other fucking Army base, I forget.  Anyway she was one of those girls who mature late, and she never did have a hair on her twat, but good ol Turnbull had a six inch prick at age 11.”

          He took a swig of beer and laughed.

          “So you were a fucking child molester at 11.”

          “And 12 and 13.  But it didn’t bother either one of us too much until I discovered what a real cunt could do.  But that’s another story.”

          He cleared his throat rather too theatrically and I thought he was probably making it all up.  

          “After that, it seemed like we spent all our afternoons looking through a magnifying glass for the first hair.”  He took another swig and cleared his throat again,  Well, I won’t tell you about her mother’s friend.  You probably wouldn’t believe me anyway.”  He poured his fourth glass and added,  Remind me to tell you about it sometime.”

          “I will.”

          “Anyway, what would probably interest you is that my next girl friend had a sister and the little cunt begged me to fuck her, and I did, but she was another one of those 11 year olds who resemble our national emblem, the bald eagle, in the place where it counts.”  He paused for my smirk.

          “Well, to make a long story short, her mother found out, and called me a fucking child molester.  I mean I was fourteen years old man and she called me a child molester.  She threatened to call the police if I ever showed up again.  You can imagine what that does to your ego.  And I was trying to do the little bitch a favor by fucking her.”

          I said, unguardedly,  That’s really hard to believe.”  I looked at him skeptically through the glass of my upturned beer mug. 

          He said,  I swear to God, William, may the merciful father take me away and trample upon my soul in the hot place if I’m not telling the truth.  I mean it was a traumatic experience.  I mean really traumatic.”  He took a long gulp of beer, like a man who wants to get drunk quick. 

          I remembered that I had promised Florence that I would be back before one thirty at the latest.  It was already one thirty.

          I took my leave and fifteen minutes later, found myself walking up the carpeted stairs, towards her room, slightly drunk and wanting to make love.      

          When I reached her room I heard loud snoring coming from her bed.  I took off my clothes and just before I lifted the covers I noticed that the hair on  the pillow was dark brown.  Mary was sleeping in Florence’s bed. 

          I suddenly remembered that Mary had very graciously offered to change rooms with Florence since her bed was so small.  I picked up my clothes and tiptoed through the curtain into the hall

          I heard Florence’s whisper at the open door down the hall:  “I thought you might forget but I fell asleep.  I didn’t even hear you come in house.”

          We could hear Mary snoring loudly from behind the curtain.  She shut the door behind us and said,   “Already thinking of two timing me heh?”

          “Yeah, sure.”

          “How was your night?”

          “Oh, not too bad.  Well, remind me to tell you about it tomorrow.”

          We made love and it seemed like I had just dropped off to sleep when I heard a scream coming through the wall.  “There’s a man on my roof!”

          Florence and I sat up in bed and looked at each other.

          I said,  Oh shit.”

          Florence said,  Maybe you ought to go out there and see if you can help.”

          I put on my pants and opened the door just as Mary was emerging from the cubbyhole that had been Florence’s room.  She was naked from the waist up.  Her pancake breasts hung to her waist and she put her hands over them when she saw me.  She didn’t really cover them and it almost seemed to me that she was offering herself up for inspection:  “Take a look, they’re yours if you want them.  They may sag, but they’re a lot bigger than Florence’s.” 

          Tilly came out into the hall, wild-eyed.  She screamed,  It’s Julian.  He’s standing on the roof.  It’s not like him.  He must be on something.”

          “Yeah,  I thought,  “Like the roof.”  I asked,  Do you want me to go out there and talk with him?”

          Tilly yelled, “Oh, God no.  That would just make it worse.  Don’t let him see you.  Go back to your room.”

          That didn’t seem like the right thing to do.  “Maybe if he just sees my face, it will scare him and he’ll go away.”

          “No, please, go away.  I’ll handle it.  Oh, it’s my fault.” She ran back to her room and talked to him through the open window.  “Julian, get off the roof and go home.  Please.  I’ll talk to you tomorrow morning.  I promise.”

          Florence was standing in the doorway of Mary’s room.  I said to her,  He’s just a high school kid.  If I show my face it will scare him away.  But Tilly’s hysterical.  What should I do?”

          “Don’t do anything.”

          The three of us stood in the hall while Tilly pleaded with Julian,  Please get down.”

          A loud yell came from the roof.

          Tilly shrieked,  Oh my God, he’s going to break the window.”   She came running back into the hall and hid behind me.

          “I’d better show myself now before it’s too late,  I muttered.  I ducked my head into her room.  He saw me, a look of terror came over his face and he disappeared.  I heard him jump from the roof.  We heard voices in the driveway below and then we heard an engine start and a car driving away. 

          I said,  Well, it looks like he’s gone.  We can either go down stairs and have a drink, or go back to bed.”

          The three women looked at me as if they would do whatever I said.  I offered,  Well, why don’t we just go back to sleep?” 

          I don’t know about them, but I slept like a baby.

 

 

 

Chapter 12

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